


The Ghost of You

by escaped_reality



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AgentCorp Friendship, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, F/F, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Slow Burn, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-02-20 12:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13146729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escaped_reality/pseuds/escaped_reality
Summary: Kara and Lena had been friends since they were freshmen in high school. After an accident, Kara left Lena without a word and they haven't spoken since. When Lena, who harbors resentment towards Kara, moves back to National City, their worlds collide once more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Flashbacks are in italics!

The sun slipped its way gently into the dark and lonely room. Raven locks were highlighted as Lena turned away from the offending light. She groaned as she nuzzled into her blankets praying for sleep to return. Unfortunately, she wasn’t awakened by the sunlight that morning, but by the blue eyes that consistently haunted her dreams. Just as she reached the verge of sleep, her alarm blared throughout the room breaking the tranquil silence. Lena let out a whine of complaint as she reached to hit the snooze button on the roaring object.  

Blinking away sleep, Lena sighed as she stared up at her ceiling. Ever since she moved to National City a month ago, she had a difficult time feeling motivated. Sometimes, she wished her bed would just swallow her whole. She debated telling her assistant that she wouldn’t be coming in today, but thought better of it. It wouldn’t look good for the new CEO to be missing work. She had a lot to prove to her brother’s employees.

When her alarm went off a second time, Lena rolled her eyes and reluctantly stomped her way to the bathroom. She walked past the empty walls of her room that were once covered in pictures of what now felt like a different life.

Steam was expelled from the bathroom as she returned from her shower. She immediately went to turn on the television to watch the news as she got ready. Lena was instantly met with the image of a ghost. There on the television staring back at her were the blue eyes that haunted her dreams. Supergirl. Only Lena knew her more specifically by her actual name, Kara Danvers. It had been six years since she had last spoken with her. Six years since Kara disappeared without a word. Six years since she lost, what Lena thought was, the love of her life.

Lena angrily clicked the off button on the remote tempted to throw it through the television. To say Lena harbored some resentment was an understatement. She was desperately lost when Kara disappeared and over the years that hurt turned into anger.

She took a deep breath trying to calm herself and set out to finish getting ready. Lena tried to ignore the ache that had returned to her chest, but the attempt seemed futile. It looked like her day was going downhill already.

Lena reached into the wooden jewelry box on her dresser. She carefully pulled out the necklace that she was ashamed to admit she wore every day. There attached to the gold chain was a small star. She smiled sadly to herself as she recalled the day she received it.

* * *

 

  _It was their first Christmas together sophomore year. Lena had scoured the mall for the perfect gift for her best friend. She was having difficulty finding something that suited Kara Danvers perfectly. After much deliberation over tacky ideas, the idea finally came to her when she was reading over her Global History essay. She set to work right away and when she was finally finished she smiled triumphantly with the knowledge that Kara would like it._

_The girls decided to get together the night before Christmas Eve in order to exchange presents. Lena spent hours perfecting the wrapping of her gift for Kara. Lex had teased her relentlessly over her crush on the blonde even though she denied it vehemently._

_When she finally arrived at the Danvers’ front door she took a deep breath to prepare herself. When she felt ready, Lena knocked lightly on the burgundy door and listened to the sound of loud footsteps racing to answer._

_“Lena, hi,” Kara exclaimed as she opened her door. She saw Lena smiling brightly back at her with a neatly wrapped present in her hands._

_“Hi, Kara,” Lena said shyly. Kara stood there beaming at her raven-haired friend. She couldn’t get over how lucky she was to have someone like Lena in her life. She let her eyes wander to the bulky winter coat Lena was wearing that matched her eyes. She knew that under that puffy coat housed one of the matching Christmas sweaters they bought together. Kara’s idea, of course. Kara’s musings were interrupted by a red-faced Lena clearing her throat._

_“Are you going to let me in there, blondie? It’s a little cold.”_

_Kara had the decency to blush at her staring. Rather than mumble through an excuse Kara opened the door wider and motioned for Lena to come inside. She brought a hand up reflexively to fix her glasses in an attempt to hide the redness of her cheeks._

_Kara helped Lena with her jacket and smiled brightly when she saw what was underneath. She was right about the sweater. She grabbed Lena’s hand and led them to the living room. They plopped down excitedly in front of the Christmas tree._

_Lena let her eyes wander to the decorations covering the entirety of the room. The Danvers’ house was so much different than her own. She marveled at the stockings hung by the tree and the smell of freshly baked cookies in the air. She knew that when she was able to live on her own that she would decorate her home like this every year. She was brought out of her thoughts when a small package was shoved into her hands. She looked up to see an excited Kara bouncing up and down._

_“Before you open it,” Kara interrupted when Lena started to tear through the wrapping, “I just wanted to say – well what I am trying say – I got this for you, no that’s not right –“_

_“Kara, breathe.” Lena interrupted with a small smile. She couldn’t get over how cute her best friend was. Kara followed Lena’s instructions and took a deep breath._

_“Okay,” Kara clapped, “Let’s try this again.” They both shared a laugh looking at each other with utter adoration. “You are one of the few people who know my biggest secret, granted you didn’t find out in the most conventional way,” Kara smiled to herself at the memory. “My home was destroyed a few years ago and I was lost for a while there. If it wasn’t for you and Alex, well I think I would still be lost.” Kara took another deep breath feeling the emotions overtake her. Lena watched on in curiosity. “I got you this to represent what you mean to me. You – you’re my home, Lena. You make me feel safe. You make me feel like I belong.” Kara angrily wiped at her tears in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” Kara chuckled. “I didn’t think I would be so emotional.”_

_Lena stared at Kara in awe as her eyes too welled with tears. She was touched that she meant so much to Kara, especially since the feeling was mutual. She smiled brightly as a lone tear escaped and reached to grab Kara’s hand. “You’re my home, too. You’re my safe place.”_

_They shared a smile, both clinging to the others hand like a lifeline. Kara knew she could get lost in the green depths of Lena’s eyes. They were mesmerizing. She didn’t understand the feelings she had been having towards her best friend. She cleared her throat awkwardly and gently removed her hand. “Open it, Lena.”_

_Lena nodded and quickly returned to unwrapping the small gift. The brunette audibly gasped when she opened the tiny box to discover a small gold necklace with a star hanging from its chain. She ran her finger over the star in awe, looking up at Kara with teary eyes._

_“It’s a star,” Lena said, obviously._

_Kara giggled at the revelation, “Yes, they didn’t have any Krypton necklaces and well – uh – the sun is considered a star.”_

_“The sun?” Lena asked confusedly._

_“I get my strength – my powers – from the yellow sun,” Kara finished. “It means that I get my strength from you.”  She adjusted her glasses nervously as she tried to avoid eye contact with Lena. She kept her head down in embarrassment. “I know it’s silly and your family is rich and this is probably just some cheap neck –”_

_“Kara,” Lena whispered. She reached out a hand and gently set her fingers under Kara’s chin. She softly raised Kara’s head so that they were making eye contact. “No one has ever – I mean this gift means the absolute world to me. I will always cherish it. I will never take it off. Although, I guess our presents kind of go together now.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Open it,” Lena said. She handed Kara her present decorated in Santa wrapping paper. She laughed as Kara unwrapped the box with her superspeed. “All my hard work,” Lena chuckled. The blonde looked up with a glowing smile. When Kara finished, she seemed puzzled by the present in front of her._

_“Uh – thank you?” She said with a high lilt in her voice. Lena chuckled and scooted closer._

_“It’s a projector. I played with the mechanisms a little and inserted an image that will show up on the wall you point it at. The image is the only thing you can see, but I figured you wouldn’t mind. Um – If you want we can go look?”_

_Kara jumped up excitedly eager to see what the image was. She grabbed Lena’s hand and pulled her up the stairs. She failed to notice she was going a little faster than normal until she heard Lena behind her out of breath._

_“Just a reminder, blondie.” Lena gasped. She had her hands on her hips trying to return the air to her lungs. “I don’t have superspeed and you know I can’t run so that was doubly unfair.”_

_Kara looked back sheepishly, “Oops?” Lena laughed and pushed Kara gently into her room._

_“Give me a minute to set it up. Where would you like to see it?”_

_“What are my options?”_

_“How about the ceiling?”_

_“Yes!”_

_“Okay, lay on your bed and close your eyes. No peaking or I won’t treat you to potstickers next time we go out.”_

_Kara stomped to her bed with a huff, “so unfair,” Lena heard mumbled. She looked at Kara laying there with her arms crossed, eyes closed and a small pout on her face. With a smile, Lena got to work. It took her about two minutes to get everything settled. When she was finished she took her place next to Kara and took a deep breath. She honestly didn’t know how this would go over._

_“You can open them,” Lena whispered. She held her breath anxiously awaiting Kara’s reaction._

_Kara slowly opened her eyes and gasped. Her eyes immediately filled with tears and she let out a loud sob. Staring back at her was her home, it was Krypton. She brought a shaky hand to cover her mouth trying to remain composed, but when she felt Lena’s hand slowly grasp hers she completely lost it._

_She hadn’t seen her home planet in three years. She thought about the lives lost; she thought about an entire race completely erased. She closed her eyes tightly as visions of her parents swam through her head. She saw visions of Kal-el, visions of her Aunt Astra, visions of what her life was supposed to be. The tears wouldn’t stop pouring down her face. She opened her eyes slowly to see the same image staring back at her. If she were honest, she was afraid that if she looked away her planet would disappear once more._

_She heard Lena whisper guiltily, “I’m so sorry, Kara. I just wanted to do something nice. I just wanted to give you something special.”_

_Kara’s eyes widened at Lena’s misunderstanding. She quickly turned on her side to face Lena and pulled her into a hug. “Lena, no one has ever done this for me. You gave me back a piece of my home. I – I mean there are not enough words in the dictionary to explain how grateful I am for you. I just – this was perfect.”_

_“You deserve the world, Kara.”_

_They remained lying there for hours that night. Both girls, side-by-side, looking up at the ceiling. Lena asked Kara to share more stories of her time on Krypton, she was enraptured by all the knowledge and passion Kara seemed to possess. Their fingers stayed entwined as they both fell asleep, both calmed by the vision of a lost planet and the silence that encompassed them._

* * *

 

Lena ran her fingers gently over the star similar to how she did when she first received it. Oh, how things had changed. She wasn’t Kara’s home anymore. She wasn’t anyone’s home anymore. Lena was all alone.

After putting on the necklace, she checked her appearance one last time in the mirror and took off towards the door. She tried to ignore the emptiness of her penthouse. If anyone broke in, they would have no idea who they were stealing from. There were no pictures, no knick-knacks, nothing to make this place feel like home. Her penthouse was a far cry from the home she always dreamed of.

Closing the door softly behind her, Lena took off towards the elevator. She counted the numbers lighting up as she reached the lobby. She made it outside and saw her driver waiting for her. Lena entered the town car and immediately leaned her head against the tinted window.

Before she got the chance to relax, her phone started buzzing. She read the name on the screen and sighed to herself. She got calls like this usually once a month, but they have been increasing in frequency ever since she moved to National City. She hesitated before pressing the answer button, she knew that if she didn’t answer the person on the other end wouldn’t stop.

“Hi, Alex,” Lena drawled with a hint of annoyance.

“Jesus,” the agent muttered. “Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? You know, I’m sure they have some sort of pill for that.”

“I see you are as clever as always,” Lena commented. She found herself playing the necklace resting against her chest, something she does way too often. She forcefully removed her hand and placed it on her lap as she internally reprimanded herself. “What can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to see how you are settling in. We still have to get together. You must carefully guide me through my newfound gayness,” Alex finished with a laugh. She could tell Alex was smiling from the other end and couldn’t fight the smile crossing her features.

“Alright, you have yourself a deal. I’ll let you know when I have some time.”

“Good, good.” Alex paused. “I know you and Kara haven’t talked, but are you ever going to tell my sister that you are in National City? Maybe if you reached out you can rekindle the friendship.”

 _Ah,_ Lena thought _, the real reason for this phone call._

“I’m going to strongly pass on that one.”

“Lena, you are being difficult.”

“Am I really, Alex? She is the one who disappeared without a word after the accident. That was her, not me. You kept in touch, it is not my fault she didn’t do the same. Don’t put that on me.” Lena took a deep breath and counted to ten. They had calls like this at least once a month and they usually ended in a fight. Alex always pushed and Lena always shut down.

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just – You guys were inseparable. You made each other happy. Kara doesn’t really smile like that anymore.”

“It’s been six years, Alex. I’ve moved on and it’s has been abundantly clear that Kara has moved on. It’s time you did too.”

“But, Lena -,” Alex tried.

“Alex, we have been friends for what? Ten years now? You know me. Do you honestly think I am ever going to reach out to your sister to tell her I am here?”

“No,” Alex whispered dejectedly.

Lena sighed and brought a hand up to massage her temples. She felt the oncoming headache that this conversation was causing. “I appreciate the effort, I really do. But I think I’ve suffered enough. If you want her to know I’m here, then you tell her.”

“You know I can’t,” Alex protested. “She doesn’t know we still talk.”

“That was your decision, Alex,” Lena sighed.

“Lena, maybe it would fix whatever this is,” Alex suggested.

“Whatever this is? You still don’t know?” Lena chuckled darkly, “Yeah, well I’d really like to know too. Nothing like being ghosted by your best friend. Listen, she probably already knows I’m here. She works at Catco, she knows. Just leave it, Alex. If she wanted to see me she would have.”

“But you and Kara –,” Alex began.

“There is no me and Kara. That died a long time ago, it’s time you let it. I don’t matter to her Alex and it’s obvious that I never did.” Lena gave up on getting Kara back years ago. She sent enough unanswered texts and phone calls to last a life time. She had to face the fact that Kara was never coming back.

“Lena, I’m so –," Alex tried.

“I have to go Alex, I’m almost at work. I’ll talk to you soon. Thanks for checking in.” Lena quickly hung up before Alex could get another word in. Sometimes it was just too hard talking to her. Every time they talked Alex urged her to reach out like it was her fault that Kara didn’t speak to Lena anymore. She shook her head angrily. No. She wasn’t doing that. If Kara missed her and wanted to talk, she need to make the first move. Lena was done.

She watched as her town car pulled up slowly in front of L-Corp. This wasn’t what she wanted. This was never what she wanted. She slid out elegantly from the vehicle when her driver came to the door. Lena stared up at the building and fought the urge to run in the opposite direction.

The sun shone off the large building as she hastily made her way inside. She said obligatory good mornings to her subordinates and continued straight to her office. After receiving her schedule for the day from Jess, Lena entered the spacious room and immediately plopped down in her chair.

Lena leaned back in her chair and sighed. It was nine in the morning and she was already miserable. She was having too many days like this recently. She felt like she was empty, like she was missing something. Although reluctant to admit it, she knew her feelings stemmed from being in such close proximity to Kara. Back in Metropolis, it was easy to distract herself when she didn’t see the superhero on her screen every day.

Lena always told herself that she was strong, that she could overcome anything she set her mind to. She lied to Alex though, the ghost of Kara was something she could never escape.

She dropped her head in her hands trying to figure out when she had become so pathetic. She figured it was probably around the time when her best friend abandoned her, her brother went crazy and Lillian found out her adopted daughter was a closeted lesbian.

Lena let out a groan and spun in her chair looking out at the city beneath her. She would be lying if she said she didn’t spend time each day trying to catch a glimpse of the Super flying high in the sky.

The raven-haired women shook herself out of her thoughts determined to get on with her day. She tried to force her attention away from the blue-eyed blonde and onto her latest project. Just as she was about to make her way down to the R & D department, Lena heard gunshots from down the hall. Lena’s eyes widened, and she immediately reached for her phone.

“Where is Lena Luthor,” was shouted through the halls.

Lena heard muffled screams from the other side of the door.  The door opened and shut quickly, Lena raising her hands desperately in surrender, but letting out a sigh of relief when she saw Jess.

“You need to hide, NOW!” Jess begged. She grabbed Lena’s arm and dragged them to a closet on the other side of the room. “I pressed the emergency button, but they are getting closer. Hurry.”

When they entered the closet, the two women were immediately surrounded by darkness. Their heavy breathing was the only sound existing in the small space. Lena remembered that she still had her phone and quickly contacted her last call.

“Agent Danvers,” Lena heard after a few rings. She let out a sigh of relief when she heard her friend’s voice.

“Alex,” Lena shakily whispered. “My building is being attacked. There is man outside my office looking for me. He has a gun.”

Lena listened as Alex immediately started shouting orders. “Hang tight, Lee. She is on her way.” Lena’s stomach dropped, her legs immediately felt like jelly. She tried to ignore the nausea that was climbing up her torso. She closed her eyes and pleaded, for what, she really wasn’t sure. “Stay on the phone with me, Lena. We are on our way.”

“Okay,” Lena responded. God, she was going to be sick. Jess and Lena both jumped when they heard the office door slam open. Jess was ready to let out a scream before Lena moved a hand to cover her mouth in the hopes that she would remain quiet. She locked eyes with Jess and shook her head. They could not make a sound.

“Oh, Lena,” the voice called out. “Come out, come out, wherever you are,” Lena heard the man chuckle to himself. “Just wait till your brother hears about this. A Luthor hiding from a fight,” he snarled menacingly.

Lena clenched her jaw tight at the mention of her brother, of course this was his doing. She tried to keep her breathing shallow to remain quiet, but she could hear the man getting closer. Lena listened as Alex gave her an ETA and nodded to herself. If worse came to worse she knew she would have to charge her way out of the closet and attack. She just didn’t want to put anyone else in danger.

She closed her eyes tightly, hand still covering Jess’ mouth, and prayed that the ghost of her long-lost friend would return, fast.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks are in italics!

Lena felt her heart pound violently in her chest as the man came closer. She pushed Jess into the back of the closet and tried to hide her behind a few jackets. Lena motioned for her assistant to stay in place. A teary-eyed Jess could only nod in response.

Lena set her phone down on the floor and gently grasped the door knob. She took a few calming breaths to prepare herself for what was to come. She closed her eyes and hoped that this was all over soon.

When she pushed the door open, the man spoke up. “Well, well, well. It looks like little Luthor’s got some teeth after all.”

He walked daringly around Lena, staring at her like a predator about to devour its prey. He wore a leather jacket with a dirty white shirt underneath. His hair was in disarray on top of his head. Lena scrunched her nose at the sharp smell of cigarettes and whiskey.

“What do you want?” Lena muttered. She raised her chin in deviance staring at the man as he passed.

“It’s simple really,” he said while examining his gun, “I want you dead.” He picked up a piece of her hair and sniffed it. She let out a shutter in disgust. He smiled at her reaction and quickly dropped the hair.

“Why?”

He studied her for a long second before cocking his head to the side. “Do you always ask so many questions?”

“If I’m being killed, don’t I have a right to know why?”

The man seemed to be mulling her question over in his head before giving her an ugly look. “I don’t like questions. I always say shoot first, ask questions later.”

He raised the gun quickly and pointed it directly at Lena’s heart.

Lena closed her eyes as he pulled the trigger. She waited for the bullet to hit, but was alarmed by the sound of a groan and a large body hitting the ground. She opened her eyes in shock, checking herself for injuries before she caught sight of the woman in front of her.

Standing with her back to Lena was none other than Supergirl. Lena stared wide-eyed as the woman stood dangerously over the man making sure he was knocked out. If it was possible, Lena was more nervous now than she was facing the shooter. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest. She licked her lips anxiously as she watched Kara turn around. It was as if she turned in slow motion.

Their eyes locked and Lena felt her breath hitch. Those intense blue eyes that she once knew so well seemed dimmer. They stared at each other for a quiet moment neither knowing what to say.

Lena felt like she was falling off a cliff with no one there to save her. All the feelings that she had tried to keep bottled up came rushing back and she clenched her jaw tight trying to remain calm. She scanned her eyes over Kara for the first time in years.

Kara’s eyes traced Lena, trying to burn her into her memory. She looked so different. No longer was she the high school girl that Kara knew. Lena looked every bit of the powerful CEO the magazines claimed her to be.

What stood out the most to Kara was the look on Lena’s face, because that look wasn’t really anything she was used to; cold, emotionless and distant. And that kind of look, on a woman who used to look at Kara like she was her entire world completely shattered the Super.

Kara’s eyes found the star necklace that hung around Lena’s neck and her jaw became unhinged. She blinked a few times telling herself that she was imaging it, but she knew it was true. Kara opened and closed her mouth trying to form words, but they just wouldn’t come.

Lena saw Kara’s shocked expression and her line of sight and immediately went to cover her necklace, but she knew it was too late. Kara saw it. However, what shocked Lena was the look of pain that crossed Kara’s features. She could be imaging it, but it seemed like Kara’s eyes began to well with tears. Lena remembered the first time she saw those pain filled eyes.

* * *

 

_It was spring her freshman year when they became friends._

_Lena sighed as she made her way to lunch. For her, it was the glaring reminder that she didn’t have any friends. She decided at the beginning of the year that she wasn’t going to let people phase her. If they didn’t want to be her friend, it was their loss. She tried to reassure herself that it didn’t hurt so much._

_After grabbing her tray of spaghetti, she scanned the lunch room for an empty table. She figured if she picked an empty one, she wouldn’t have to face the embarrassment of everyone getting up to leave the second she sat down._

_She suddenly froze when a body crashed into her, spilling pasta sauce all over the front of her shirt. She fought the urge to scream as a group of upperclassmen passed her._

_“Watch where you’re going Luthor,” Mike said with a smug smile. He wagged his eyebrows at her and pursed his lips together in a pretend kiss. His friends around him laughed at his antics as they continued to their table._

_Lena noticed the people staring at her and immediately abandoned her fallen tray. She quickly took off towards the bathroom clenching her jaw tightly along the way. She was sick of the people at this school acting like little children. She was praying for the day that they would grow up._

_As soon as Lena entered the bathroom she grabbed a wad of paper towels and ran them under the water. She couldn’t remember if she was supposed to dab at the sauce or scrub, so she did a little bit of both._

_Lena huffed as she dabbed hard at her white shirt trying to remove what was sure to turn into a big stain. Her hands froze mid stroke when she heard sniffling come from one of the stalls. She shook her head assuming she was hearing something before she heard it again. She set down her wet paper towels and moved to the closed stall behind her._

_“Hello?” Lena said kindly. She heard stumbling from behind the door and another sniffle. “It’s okay, I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”_

_She waited a beat before the stepping back. She returned to her wet paper towel before hearing the door to the stall slowly open behind her. Lena locked eyes with a crying blonde._

_Although filled with pain, Lena couldn’t help but notice that they were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. She slowly turned around and smiled kindly at the blonde._

_“Hi, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”_

_The blonde gave her a shy smile as she wiped her tears. Lena went to grab her another paper towel to help her out._

_“Thank you,” the crying girl said quietly. She removed her glasses as she wiped at her wet eyes._

_“It’s no problem,” Lena replied. She instantly felt drawn to her. Lena felt a strong urge to fix whatever was troubling the blonde. In a move of bravery, Lena grabbed the girl’s hand and moved to sit against the wall. “Would you like to tell me what’s going on?”_

_The other girl hesitated for moment before responding. “I – I don’t really fit in here. People are always laughing at me.”_

_Lena smiled sadly, “I know the feeling.”_

_“You -You do?” The blonde asked, shocked._

_“Unfortunately, yes. The kids at this school aren’t always the nicest.”_

_“I’m learning that, but I thought I was the only one.”_

_“Not at all, how do you think this happened to my shirt?” Lena said as she held up the giant stain._

_The blonde studied Lena’s shirt with a frown. “Someone did that to you?”_

_Lena could only nod, before getting an idea. “How about I make you an offer, blondie?”_

_“Okay,” Kara responded looking at the Luthor strangely. “My name is Kara, by the way.”_

_“Lena. Lena Luthor,” the brunette responded. She stuck out her hand for Kara to shake._

_“So, what is this strange offer of yours?_

_“Strange? I never said it was strange,” Lena said with a pout causing Kara to giggle. Lena thought it was the most perfect sound she had ever heard. She congratulated herself on getting Kara to laugh. “The offer is that since we are both lacking in the friend’s department, I can be your friend. I will have your back so if you ever feel like coming in here to cry again you won’t have to because you have me.”_

_Kara remained quiet as she studied Lena. She was trying to determine if this girl was being deceitful. Sensing nothing but honesty, Kara brightly smiled in return. And frankly, the sight took Lena’s breath away._

_“I would like that,” Kara said shyly._

_“You have a beautiful smile, you should do it more often,” Lena blurted. She felt the blush rise to her cheeks at her bluntness, but the growing smile on the blonde’s face made it her embarrassment worth it._

_“I’ll try,” Kara said warmly._

_“Promise me you won’t listen to them, that you will ignore what they say,” Lena urged._

_“I will try, but sometimes it hurts. I didn’t know that people could be so mean.”_

_“Well, I guess I’ll just have to stick with you to cheer you up,” Lena remarked with a smile._

_Kara went to respond in kind, but the bathroom door suddenly opened, and a voice rang out._

_“Kara? Kara, are you in here?”_

_Kara immediately sat up straighter at the sound of her sister’s voice. “Yeah, I’m here.”_

_Lena watched as a girl who seemed a few years older than them came to kneel in front of Kara._

_“What happened?” Alex asked protectively. “Who made you cry?”_

_“It’s okay, thanks for coming when I texted you,” Kara said as she moved to adjust her glasses._

_“It’s not okay, Kara. No one does this to my sister.”_

_“I’m okay, Alex.” Kara reassured. She turned to Lena and smiled. “Lena was here.”_

_It seemed like Alex finally took notice of the young girl sitting next to Kara. She turned to Lena and studied her for a moment trying to ascertain if she was good enough to be around her sister._

_“Who are you?” Alex asked, bluntly._

_Kara’s eyes widened at her sister and she went to interject. “Alex, don’t be rude. I said it was Lena.”_

_Lena laughed at the blonde and stuck out her hand for Alex. “I’m Lena Luthor.”_

_“Alex Danvers,” Alex replied shaking the offered hand._

_Lena looked at the sisters sensing that they might need a private moment. “Why don’t I let you two talk. I’ll see you around, blondie.”_

_“Thank you, Lena,” Kara responded shyly. They held eye contact for a beat before Lena got up to gather her things._

_“Hey Luthor,” Alex called out as Lena reached the door, “Thank you for looking after my sister.”_

_“That’s what friends are for,” Lena responded shooting one last smile to Kara before leaving the restroom. She completely forgot about her stained shirt and took off towards her next class._

_The next day, Kara and Lena sat together at lunch._

* * *

 

Lena cleared her throat and diverted her eyes as the memory passed. Staring into Kara’s tear-filled eyes was too painful. She wouldn’t let Kara do this. She wouldn’t let Kara come back into her life just to hurt her all over again. She finally found her voice and spoke up.

“Thank you, Supergirl.” Lena said in a shaky voice. “You are free to go,” she said as she turned to get a scared Jess from the closet.

Kara’s eyes widened at the obvious dismissal and she went to protest, “But - But there could be more, I should stay.”

They locked eyes for another moment, both unsure of what to do. Jess stared awkwardly between the two women noticing the tension. Luckily for Lena, Alex and a few agents at the DEO chose that moment to burst through the door. Lena used this moment to quickly bypass Kara and move to Alex.

Kara opened her mouth to stop the Luthor, but knew her attempt would be futile. She locked eyes with her sister and Alex gave her a nod to let her know that she had things handled. Alex watched the anguish take over her sister’s face as she gave one last lingering look to Lena and took off into the sky.

After checking on her employees and making sure the gentleman was cuffed on the ground, Lena remained staring at the balcony. She couldn’t get Kara out of her head. She couldn’t erase the look of pain from her mind.  

Alex interrupted her thoughts a few moments later. “You know, when you said talk to you soon I didn’t think you would create such a fiasco to see me.” Lena smiled at Alex’s attempt to add some comic relief. It only alleviated the tension a fraction considering Lena was still reeling from her interaction with Kara.

Sensing Lena’s unease, Alex went on. “Are you okay?”

Lena gave Alex a deadpanned look and Alex winced.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Lena said sarcastically, “Let’s see, my brother just ordered a hitman to come and take me out. The girl that abandoned me six years ago just showed up to save my life,” Lena snapped. “Oh, and to top it all off she looks at me like _I’m_ the one who hurt _her_.” Lena chuckled darkly and shook her head. “I just – I don’t get it.” She moved quickly over to her bar to pour a drink fully expecting Alex to follow.

“I’m sorry, Lena. I wish I knew what happened,” Alex said quietly from behind her. The agent never stopped wishing there was something she could do. She felt like she was constantly jumping between divorced parents.

Lena noticed the sad expression on Alex’s face and immediately felt guilty. She took a long swig of her drink before apologizing.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” Lena said bringing a shaky hand up to massage her temple. “I just – I don’t need this. I don’t want this.”

“I understand.”

“Well, look on the bright side,” Lena chuckled softly, “at least now you can stop bugging me to let her know I’m in National City.”

“Lucky you,” Alex joked as she bumped their shoulders together. “So, I’m going to take a few statements from you and your staff. We counted two people with gun shot wounds. Honestly, he shouldn’t have even been able to get up here. You need to up your security detail, pronto.”

Lena nodded her head in agreement.

“I’m going to set you up with a security detail. They will be guarding L-Corp and your penthouse just in case Lex decides to send more of his men.”

“Alex, it’s really not necess-,” Lena tried to interject.

“Don’t. Don’t put on this hard exterior and act like you don’t give a shit.” She made a step towards Lena never breaking eye contact. “You have people that care about you, so whether you like it or not, I’m doing this. Are we clear?”

Lena rolled her eyes and nodded. “Crystal,” she muttered. “Just make sure they stay out of my way.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to track down one of those pills I was talking about earlier? I think you could use one.” Alex joked. “God, you’re cranky.”

Lena smiled at Alex and moved to walk away. Knowing that Alex was still watching her, Lena gave her the middle finger, smiling as Alex busted out laughing behind her.

* * *

 

Hours later, Alex finally made her way home from the L-Corp debacle. She unlocked her door and sighed as she made her way inside. She entered the apartment and quickly threw her keys on the counter before stopping abruptly when she heard a voice.

“You’re home,” was said from the couch. Alex spun slowly to find her sister sitting like a statue in the dark. Kara stared blankly at Alex. The older woman felt a sinking feeling in her chest at the presumed reason Kara was there.

“Kara, hey. How long have you been here?” Alex said as she tried to act oblivious.

“Since I left L-Corp.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I needed time to think.”

Alex sighed as the emotions on Kara’s face remained unclear. This is how it was now. There was always something hidden about Kara. She was masked, she wasn’t the same girl that Alex shared a room with years ago. Kara had developed a hardness.

“About?”

Kara remained silent for a minute looking down at her hands in her lap. When she looked back up she locked eyes with Alex. “How did you know L-Corp was being attacked so quickly?”

Alex inhaled deeply and moved towards Kara. “Uh – I -,” she stuttered out.

“The truth,” Kara interrupted, already sensing the lie.

“Lena called me,” Alex remarked quietly.

Kara stood up immediately. Alex could tell that Kara was trying to piece together everything she was learning, but knew it wouldn’t make sense. The minutes ticked away as Kara remained quiet.

“Why?”

Alex debated what to say, but she settled on the truth. “You stopped being her friend Kara, but I never did.”

Kara’s eyes widened as she started pacing the room. And it was moments like this – moments when Kara was too broken to form words – moments when the agony was written clear across her face – moments like these that convinced Alex that losing Lena wasn’t Kara’s choice, but a necessity. Kara must have needed to cut ties with Lena, but what she couldn’t figure out was why.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks are in italics! 
> 
> Happy New Year!

Alex continued to watch as Kara paced, struggling to find the proper words to say. She could see the anguish on her sister’s face and knew that it was time for some sort of intervention.

“Kara,” Alex said gently. “What happened between you two?”

“It doesn’t matter, Alex. What matters is why you didn’t tell me that you were still talking to Lena!”

“Just because you cut off all ties without a reason didn’t mean I needed to do the same.”

“You should have told me,” Kara said quietly. She couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal that radiated off her at her sister’s long kept secret.

“When was I supposed to say something, Kara? Anytime someone mentions her you shut down.”

Alex saw Kara’s jaw clench before the blonde reluctantly nodded her agreement and resumed her seat on the couch. The agent had never seen her sister look so utterly defeated. She took a seat next to Kara and took the blonde’s hand.

“Kara, I want to apologize.”

“For what?” Kara asked as she scrunched her eyebrows and looked at her sister questioningly.

“For the last six years, I sat back and watched as you became a shell of the person you used to be. I don’t know what happened between you and Lena, and honestly, I don’t think she does either. Whatever it is though, I’m sorry that I gave up. Mom and I pushed you for well over a year to tell us what happened, but you never said and eventually we let it go.” Alex had to take a deep breath as the shame washed over her. Shame for allowing her sister to carry on like this, shame for not doing more to help. “I’m sorry I didn’t create a type of environment where you felt like you could talk to me about this, but Kara,” Alex paused as she studied her sister, “you need to let it out. You need to talk, you need to heal.”

Kara stayed quiet for a long moment.

“I – I can’t,” the blonde whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m done babying you about this. I’m done stepping aside and letting you figure things out on your own. It’s been six years, when are you going to realize that you and Lena need each other?”

“She doesn’t need me,” Kara stated matter-of-factly.

Alex studied Kara intently searching her eyes for an explanation. She noticed that Kara didn’t say anything about needing Lena in return.

Alex took a deep breath knowing that the next thing she was going to say would hit a nerve. “Is this about the night of the accident?”

The blonde nodded her head solemnly. “She is better off without me,” Kara said quietly.

Alex looked at her with wide eyes and immediately began to protest. “Kara, that’s completely ridiculous!”

“Is it, really?”

“Yes, it is! It wasn’t your fault.”

Kara laughed bitterly and shook her head. It was clear to Alex that her sister didn’t believe a word she was saying.

“She has been completely miserable without you and if you honestly believe that she is better off then you are not the person I thought you were.”

“Yeah, well maybe I’m not,” Kara said resolutely. She took off towards the window wanting to put distance between herself and the current conversation.

“Kara,” Alex called out while following Kara to the window. “Kara, wait -,” she shouted, but it was too late, Kara took off out the window and into the night sky.

Alex sighed and debated driving to her sister’s apartment, but knew the blonde might need some space.

* * *

 

Kara groaned at the beeping of her alarm clock the next morning. She looked up at her ceiling from her place on the bed and staring back at her was the view of her home planet. She looked at it every night and instead of reminding her of Krypton, it reminds her of her second home. Lena. Every day for the past six years she has fought with herself on her decision to walk away and each day she had to remind herself that she made the right choice.

When she saw her yesterday it was like seeing the ghost of a loved one she had been mourning for years. She couldn’t get the view of Lena’s cold eyes out of her head.

Kara reached to turn off the projector next to her bed and quickly moved to start her day. She figured that the busier she was, the less she would think of Lena.

When she arrived at work, however, she realized that her plan would backfire. She read the board in the office and immediately went to Snapper to protest.

“Sir, I can’t interview Miss Luthor,” Kara said as she hurried after him.

“Ponytail,” Snapper huffed. “I haven’t even had my morning coffee and I already hear you chirping in my ear. I see a problem with that, do you?”

“I know, sir. I’m sorry, but can you please get someone else to do the interview.”

He stopped and turned to Kara with condescending eyes. “We all have to do things we don’t want to do, we have to be grown up enough not to whine or let our opinions get in the way. We have a story to tell, ponytail. Now hurry up, I expect that article on my desk by the end of the day.” He gave her a small smirk before taking a giant sip of coffee and turning away.

Kara was going to beg one last time before she thought better of it. She closed her eyes and prayed to Rao that this wouldn’t end in complete chaos.

* * *

 

Lena sighed as she typed furiously at her desk. Since the attack yesterday, she had felt a little shaken up. She tried to focus on her work, but it was in vain. She lifted her head up when her intercom beeped.

“Miss Luthor, a reporter is here to see you about the attack yesterday.”

She rolled her eyes in annoyance before pressing the button to respond. “Thank you, Jess. Send them in.”

Lena was putting the finishing touches on an email when she heard her office door open. She completed one final line before raising her head to lock eyes with the reporter. Her eyes widened as she stared at the woman who haunted her dreams. Lena opened and closed her mouth trying to form a coherent sentence before Kara spoke up.

“I’m sorry, Snapper wanted me to come do an interview.” Kara looked down at her feet awkwardly. “I can go if you want, tell him you would like to speak with someone else.”

Lena pondered the offer in her head before she spoke, “It’s – It’s fine.”

Kara nodded and when Lena motioned for the chair in front of her, she took it.

They remained quiet for a moment, both trying to determine what to say. Finally, Kara interrupted the silence.

“Can you tell me a little about the attack that took place yesterday?”

“I was in my office yesterday when I heard gunshots in the hallway. My assistant came in and we both hid in the closet. I called a friend of mine who got in contact with Supergirl.” At the mention of her sister, Kara tensed. Lena saw the movement, but chose to ignore it. “And I’m sure you have heard that she saved the day.”

“Did you know the gentleman trying to attack you?”

“No, I did not.”

Kara considered this for a moment before continuing. “Do you think it could be someone sent by your brother?”

Lena let out a large sigh at the mention of her brother. “Listen Kara, I don’t know what you want me to say. We both were there, so write about what you saw. I don’t know. It could be Lex,” Lena said not wanting to admit that her brother wanted her dead. “It could be my mother,” Lena saw Kara flinch at the mention of her mother and quickly narrowed her eyes. “Or it could be the countless people in this city who hate me because of my last name, either way – they are behind bars and I want this whole situation behind me.”

“Right,” Kara said quietly.

Remembering Kara’s reaction, Lena went on. “Does Lillian have something to do with this?”

“W-Why would you say that?” Kara sputtered.

“Earlier, when I mentioned her you flinched.” Lena looked at Kara seriously. She studied her for information, but couldn’t find anything.

Kara swallowed the lump in her throat at the mention of Lillian and quickly shook her head. “No, I don’t believe she does.” Kara quickly got to her feet. “Okay, I think I have everything I need.”

They locked eyes for a long moment, neither knowing what to say. They both didn’t know when they would meet again.

Kara nodded her head in thanks to Lena and quickly turned to leave the office, both women immediately feeling the emptiness return.

Lena watched as Kara left her office. She went to call Kara back in, but stopped herself. Lena wouldn’t know what to say. She felt a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach and her eyes widened when she realized what she was experiencing. It was fear. Fear that Kara would walk out of her life and never return, fear that she would never get to see Kara again, fear of losing the person that still meant the world to her. She fought the feeling and tried to return to her work, but the attempt was futile. She debated with herself for a beat, before opening her bottom drawer and pulling out a framed photo.

She was ashamed to admit that she kept this photo with her, but she needed it as a reminder. A reminder of a life she once had. A life that she wished she could return to before everything changed. She spent six years mourning what could have been. Kara left and took a giant piece of Lena with her.

Lena stared down at the photo with a sad smile on her face. She carefully traced her finger over the smiling faces staring back at her remembering the day it was taken.

* * *

 

_“Lena,” Kara whined. “Do we really have to do this?”_

_“Yes, now come on,” Lena urged as the set up the ingredients. “The science department needs more funding.”_

_“But is a senior class bake sale really the way to do it?”_

_“Apparently,” Lena said. “Hey, it wasn’t my idea, blame Veronica.”_

_Kara hopped up on the counter in front of Lena. “Can’t we just go buy something at the store?”_

_“No, that’s cheating,” Lena giggled._

_Kara huffed as she grabbed something on the counter. “I found an old chocolate chip cookie recipe from Eliza so this should be easy.”_

_They decided that since they had to make a lot, they should each make separate batches. After spending about an hour goofing off and preparing the dough, Kara and Lena’s first batches were finished._

_“Okay, they are cooled,” Kara said excitedly before handing Lena a cookie from her batch. “Try it!”_

_Lena smiled at the excitement on Kara’s features and immediately popped the cookie into her mouth. At the taste, a frown instantly found its place on Lena’s face._

_“Oh, God,” Lena muttered as she tried to find a napkin. She immediately spit the cookie out and fought the urge to gag._

_“What? What’s wrong with them?” Kara asked. Lena let out a laugh at the pout that crossed Kara’s features._

_“I’m sorry,” she got out between laughs. “They are really salty.”_

_“But – But it said two teaspoons of salt!” Kara protested. “I followed the directions.”_

_“Let me see the recipe,” Lena said. She moved to grab it and smiled when she saw the problem. She squinted hard and looked at the fainted writing. “It says ½ teaspoon of salt, Kar.”_

_“What! Give me that,” she grabbed the recipe from Lena’s hands and frowned as she examined the recipe closer. She looked up to see Lena laughing once again._

_Her laughs were immediately cut off when a handful of flour was tossed in her face. She looked at Kara with her jaw dropped._

_“That’s what you get,” Kara said smugly while laughing at the brunette. The blonde’s eyes widened when she saw Lena reach for the flour._

_“It’s on,” the brunette exclaimed. “You will regret making an enemy out of me, Miss Danvers.” They smiled brightly at each other before Kara got a face full of flour._

_They chased each other around the kitchen continuously, both reaching for more flour as they passed the counter. Lena quickly grabbed a secret weapon before falling to the ground in mock defeat. “I surrender,” she exclaimed. She lay out of breath, stomach aching from the laughter that consumed her._

_Flour covered the walls, the counters and the girls sprawled out in a heap on the kitchen floor. To make one last statement, Lena cracked an egg on the top of Kara’s head. The blonde let out a shriek at the gooey mess running down her face. She looked at Lena in astonishment who was too busy laughing to notice._

_Kara stopped abruptly at the sight in front of her, never had she seen anything so beautiful. She was looking at Lena with utter adoration watching as the brunette’s eyes crinkled and her wide smile dictated her features. The melody of laughter brought such joy to Kara’s ears and she had a need to capture the moment._

_“We need to get a picture of this, we both look ridiculous,” Kara said between laughs. She pulled out her phone as they laid side by side on the floor. She took a selfie of them, egg and flour covering every inch of their bodies._

_As soon as the flash went off, both girls brought the phone closer to look at the picture._

_Lena was brightly smiling into the camera, while Kara was staring lovingly at Lena._

_“You weren’t looking,” Lena pouted. Secretly, however, what she loved most about the picture was the way Kara was looking at her._

_“It’s okay. It’s perfect,” Kara smiled._

_They stared at each other for a moment, both smiling brightly. The two girls were overcome by the feelings of joy and love they felt around each other. Kara debated with herself for a moment, before beginning to lean in._

_However, their moment was interrupted by someone coming into the kitchen._

_“Oh my, what did you do to my kitchen?”_

_Both girls winced at the sound of Eliza’s voice._

_“We’re sorry,” both girls remarked sheepishly to the older woman. Their faces were both bright red at the revelation of what could have happened if Eliza hadn’t walked in._

_“Go wash up and then you are going to clean up this mess!”_

_The pair set off towards the stairs, both stealing glances at each other when the other wasn’t looking._

* * *

 

After the interview, Kara found herself back at the office. Once she completed her article, she took off to clear her head. She kept replaying Alex’s words from the night before.

_You need to talk, you need to heal._

That was how she found herself on Lena’s office balcony. She had been here for a few hours. She knew the brunette was still in the building, but she hadn’t returned to her office yet. Kara spent hours staring over the city, trying to find the perfect thing to say.

It was around nine o’clock when Lena returned to her office. She went to take a seat at her desk before noticing a figure standing on her balcony. She paused before going to take a closer look. When she realized who the figure was she felt a tightness in her chest. It was Supergirl. Lena noticed the hunched shoulders and the slump in her posture. She could tell something was wrong with the blonde. Lena took a few calming breaths before going to join her.

“What are you doing here?” Lena said to the woman facing away from her. Seeing Kara these last two days had been jarring to say the least. It was a constant reminder of everything she had lost.

Upon hearing Lena’s voice, Kara slowly turned around. They held eye contact for a long moment before Kara began. “I think we should talk.”

Lena looked at Kara in surprise before her features became clouded in displeasure. She quickly felt the hurt and anger consume her with the knowledge that Kara wanted to talk only on her terms.

“You want to know something funny?” Lena said as she took a step closer to Kara. “I waited years – years wishing you would show up at my door step with an apology and a reason for abandoning me. And here you are,” Lena paused. “But right now -  well right now I don’t even want to listen.”

“Lena -,” Kara tried to explain, torment clear in her eyes.

“If there was one thing I was sure of,” Lena interrupted turning to look out at the night sky. “One thing that was guaranteed through all the questions and insecurities I had about life, it was you. You were the one constant in my life.” Lena took a shallow breath before whispering, “It was you and me against the world.”

“I’m so sorry, Lena,” Kara whispered.

Lena turned back to Kara and the blonde’s heart clenched at the tears trickling down Lena’s face. She would give anything to be able to comfort the raven-haired woman in front of her, but she didn’t think her effort would be accepted.

“No, Kara, I don’t want to hear it. You think an apology is going to make up for what you did?” Lena shook her head at Kara as the years of heartbreak consumed her. “You left me!” Lena shouted angrily. She took purposeful steps towards Kara as she continued. “You left me like I didn’t even matter!” Lena yelled while pointing an aggressive finger at Kara.

“You were ALL that mattered!” Kara shouted back with tears in her eyes.

Lena’s breath caught in her throat at the admission watching the pain cloud Kara’s features. Kara was looking at her with such heartache that it shook Lena to her core. She stared questioningly at Kara before clenching her jaw.  She wouldn’t let Kara do this. She wouldn’t let Kara come back and look at her like that. She wouldn’t let Kara make her feel things she had spent so long trying not to feel.

She turned towards the door to her balcony and took a step inside before turning back.

“Well, you had a funny way of showing it.” They held eye contact for a beat, tears streaming down both of their faces before Lena shut the door dismissing the Super once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the angst! Let me know what you think in the comments (: 
> 
> Hope you found the major hint in this chapter about Kara's decision to leave Lena!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I'm back. I'm so very sorry for leaving this story for so long. I've definitely had my ups and downs with the show that have hindered my inspiration to write for it. I will be updating this story pretty frequently from now on. 
> 
> This chapter has a lot of AgentCorp BrOTP, but next chapter is mainly Supercorp. I promise :)
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments and if you would like me to continue.

Lena closed her eyes as the sound of the door shutting echoed around the room. She hated that it sounded so final to her ears. She would give anything to be able to run back out onto the balcony and beg Kara to come inside so that Lena could hear what she had to say. However, she refused to look over her shoulder and give the Super another glance. She listened for the sound of the Kara taking off and when she heard it , her heart clenched tightly in her chest.  

Lena took a deep breath and straightened herself, anyone looking could see that her walls were raising high around her. She walked slowly to her desk with an eerie sense of calm as if she didn’t just have an altercation with Kara on the balcony. She sank into her chair and immediately released the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She felt the familiar numbness begin to seep into her bones like a parasite taking over. That’s how it was now she supposed. She remained cold and unfeeling, so unlike the girl she used to be. She tried to reconcile with the fact that she was alone now, but it was hard knowing that this time it was her choice.

She sighed to herself frustratedly. She was sick of the silence, sick of the never-ending cycle of loneliness.

Shaky hands reached for her phone, punching in a familiar number. She knew she would probably regret this decision in the morning, but she needed a friend. She needed to prove to herself that her life didn’t center around her anger at Kara. She needed more to hold onto.

She listened anxiously to the ringing, waiting for the person to pick up and when they did she let out a sigh of relief.

“So,” she began, “I was wondering if you still wanted to get that drink?”

* * *

 

That was two hours ago. Now Lena was sitting at the club she was instructed to meet at; it was a place called “Lips”. The place was classy, but it was a little too crowded for her taste. The music was loud, the girls were wild, and the alcohol was watered down, but she supposed it would do.

A few women had begun to approach her, but they immediately steered clear when they saw she wasn’t in the mood. Lena appreciated that, she did not come here to be hit on tonight. She came to get drunk and forget.

She immediately stiffened when she felt a small tap on her shoulder. Slowly, she turned around and was met with the charming smile of the person she came here to meet.

“You’re actually here,” they yelled loudly over the music. Lena rolled her eyes before pulling them to the VIP area where the music was somewhat quieter. The guard immediately recognized Lena and quickly let them through. She heard her friend remark “Ooh, fancy,” from behind her before taking a seat next to her. Lena chuckled and shook her head at their antics.

Leave it to Alex Danvers to act like a kid in a candy store at one of the biggest gay clubs in National City.

Once they settled and ordered their drinks, the shorter haired woman bumped Lena with her shoulder. “I didn’t think you’d show.” Alex had just finished up at the DEO when she got the call from the brunette. To say she was surprised would be an understatement.

Lena let out a bitter chuckle, “yeah, well it’s been a rough few days.”

“You just wanted to spend time with me,” Alex said with a satisfied grin trying to lighten the mood.

Lena answered with an eyeroll before saying, “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m here for the alcohol.”

Alex went to answer, but was interrupted by their drinks returning. After the waitress left, she resumed their conversation. “We both know you could get alcohol anywhere.”

Lena huffed in her seat and took a long sip of her drink before wincing at the burning in her throat. _Not so watered down then_ , she thought. She knew Alex was right, but that did not mean she was going to admit it. “I’m here for the women then.”

Alex let out a loud laugh that startled her companion. “Bullshit, we both know that there is only one woman for you and she isn’t here right now.”

Lena immediately stiffened in her seat at the mention of Kara, but she tried to relax before Alex took notice. However, it was too late. She looked over at the agent and saw her staring back with a sympathetic smile.

Alex felt guilty. She knew that if Lena called her to hangout, she must be handling everything worse than she thought. Alex didn’t want to add to this mess. “I’m sorry, Lee. I shouldn’t have brought her up.”

“It’s okay. She is your sister, she is bound to come up sometimes.” Lena’s eyes were downcast, drilling holes into the bottom of her glass. She wished for days when she didn’t think of the blonde. She wished for moments when the thought of her didn’t bring her such pain. “She came to see me today.”

Alex’s eyes lit up at that. She knew the pair needed to see each other and talk things out. However, her eyes slowly dimmed when she realized that the talk must not have gone well. She cleared her throat before asking, “what happened?”

Lena sighed as she folded her arms over her chest. “She wanted to talk and I didn’t want to listen.”

“Lena,” Alex sighed putting her head in her hands. They could both be so stubborn sometimes.

“I know, okay?” Lena bit out, angrily. “I finally got the one thing I have been waiting for and I couldn’t handle it.” She debated continuing, wondering if Alex would understand. “I’m terrified, Al. I have held on to this hurt and anger for so long that it’s all I have, it’s all I am. When that is gone what do I have left?”

Lena looked around the club at the dancing bodies beneath them. They all looked to be having the time of their lives without a care in the world. She envied them for it.

“I am in the dark as much as you are when it comes to Kara, so regarding her, I don’t know the right thing to say. What I can tell you is that no matter what happens between you two, you will always have me and I won’t let you suffer alone in the dark.”

Lena’s eyes grew wide at that declaration before narrowing them and studying Alex’s features for a hint of a lie. When she couldn’t find one, her eyes grew misty and she quickly went to clear her throat.

“Well, I – uh thank – thank you for that. You have me too,” Lena assured.

They smiled at each other before Lena motioned for another round of drinks, this time ordering a few shots. Alex looked at her strangely as she glimpsed at the amount of alcohol she would be consuming before shrugging her shoulders and knocking back a shot. When she set her shot glass down her eyes scanned the crowd below them. She laid her eyes on a woman who was sitting at the bar wearing a short black dress. Alex’s eyes widened as she took in the beautiful sight in front of her: long legs, tan skin, dark hair flowing perfectly past her shoulders. Her mouth was dry as her eyes remained glued to the woman. She felt Lena looking at her strangely, so she slapped her on the arm and nodded her head towards the bar.

Lena raised her eyebrows in obvious approval as she gazed at the woman with Alex. Lena wondered what her story was, she thought that she and Alex would make a cute couple.

Sensing eyes on her, the woman in question turned towards the VIP area causing Lena and Alex to quickly turn back to their booth with a blush on their cheeks.

Alex looked at Lena with her jaw dropped. “Oh my God!” She yelled, laughing. “You are as much of a gay disaster as I am! How did I think you had game?”

Lena laughed at her friend. “I wasn’t aware that someone thought I was a lesbian god,” Lena explained. “I haven’t really been with a lot of women.”

“We both need to get laid,” Alex said as she took another shot. “You especially. Preferably by a blonde, kinda tall, pretty smile. I think you’d like her.”

Lena looked at her strangely before saying, “Did you just tell me to sleep with your sister?”

“It’s the alcohol, I promise.” Alex mumbled into her glass. Lena rolled her eyes at the older woman and finished off two shots before calling back to the waitress for more. She needed to stop thinking of Kara.

“Damn, she was hot.” Alex said trying to scan her eyes through the sea of woman to find her again. When she couldn’t she sat back in the booth with a frown. “God, I am so gay. How did I just figure that out?” She looked at Lena for answers.

Lena stared back at Alex’s pouting face and laughed. “Don’t look at me, I thought you were gay back in high school.”

Alex looked at her incredulously.

“Oh, what? You can’t tell me that your whole look didn’t scream lesbian.” Lena ran her eyes over Alex’s look for the evening, “seems like it’s only gotten worse.” Lena smirked at Alex before downing another shot.

Ignoring the remarks about her outfit, Alex chose to focus on something else. “Why wouldn’t you say anything?” Alex asked, seemingly frustrated. She felt that if she had figured it out sooner her life would have been a lot easier.

“Your sexuality is something that you need to come to terms with on your own, Alex. No one can force you to examine yourself in a certain way. You realized it when you were ready. Hell, some people don’t figure it out until they are much, much older. It wasn’t my place. This is a journey that people need to take on their own and the people that love them will be there to support them, but there is only so much we can do.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. How was it so easy for you though?”

Lena thought about it for a moment before draining her glass and motioning to the waitress for another. This wasn’t working.

 “I fell in love,” Lena choked out.

* * *

 

_It was past midnight. Kara and Lena were set to graduate in a few weeks’ time. They didn’t know what life had in store for them, they only knew that no matter what happened next, they would get through it together._

_“Do you think we will get in trouble?” Kara whispered as Lena led them from the house._

_“No one is awake to yell at us, so no. I do not think we will get in trouble,” Lena said as she gave Kara a cocky smirk. “I don’t see why we would get in trouble anyways. We aren’t going far and we will be back by morning, I promise.”_

_Kara looked at her skeptically before nodding as she took Lena’s hand and led them down the path to the beach._

_“It’s so peaceful out here,” Lena said as she took in a deep breath of the salty air. She closed her eyes as she felt the wind sweep against her face. When she opened them, she saw Kara staring back at her with a look of pure love in her eyes. It took her breath away._

_Kara blushed when she realized she was caught staring and quickly cleared her throat before putting down the blanket. Once she was satisfied with the set up she grabbed Lena’s hand and gently pulled her down._

_“It’s always going to be like this, isn’t it?” Lena asked. She rolled on her side and stared at Kara._

_“What do you mean?” Kara asked._

_Lena debated if she should continue and decided to go for it. “You and me,” Lena said. “Are we always going to have this?” She gestured between them and gave Kara a shy smile._

_It was Kara’s turn for her breath to catch. She rolled on her side to face the brunette. Kara brought her shaky hand up to clasp around Lena’s and gave her a megawatt smile. “Always. I don’t know what our future holds, Lee. I just know that no matter what happens, I will do anything to protect you, to protect us.”_

_Lena smiled widely in return before wrapping her arms around Kara, “I will always protect you too.”_

_The continued to lay there, Kara on her back with Lena snuggled closely into her neck. They basked in the presence of one another and the sound of the waves in the distance. They remained quiet, both on the verge of drifting off to sleep before Lena spoke._

_“The beach was always my happy place. Whenever things were going bad with school or at home, I’d just close my eyes and pretend I was here. Nothing could touch me here, I was at peace and alone. It was just me, the sand, the waves.”_

_“Mmm,” Kara mumbled in agreement, almost asleep._

_Lena smiled at her best friend.  The sleep that was about to consume her allowed her to be brave._

_“I think that from now on when I think of my happy place, I’m going to picture you there with me.” Lena wrapped her arms tighter around Kara’s middle and snuggled further into her neck._

_“I love you, blondie.” Lena whispered as she drifted off to sleep._

_She was completely oblivious to the bright smile on the blonde’s face above her. Kara tightened her arms around Lena and pressed the softest kiss to the top of her head, careful not to wake the other girl._

* * *

 

“Come on, Lee,” Alex said as she tried to steer Lena out of the club. To say Lena was drunk would be the understatement of the year. Alex could barely keep her standing up straight. It was now three in the morning. They had been at the club for about four hours. They were both going to regret this in the morning.

“Just leave me here to die,” Lena groaned as she slumped against the wall.

“Oh wow, you are so dramatic,” Alex said with a roll of her eyes. Lena was basically dead weight as Alex maneuvered her to the alley next to the club so that she could come up with a plan. “Remind me why I didn’t cut you off sooner?”

Lena slumped down to the ground and closed her eyes as her head lulled back against the concrete. “Because I told you I would find that hot girl and tell her you gave me an STD.”

Alex glared at her. She hadn’t appreciated that particular threat. She watched as Lena stared wide eyed at her legs before she slowly started poking them.

“Uh… whatcha doing there, Lena?”

Alex looked wide-eyed at her as she broke out into a fit of giggles. “My legs are jelly,” Lena slurred.

Alex groaned before pacing back and forth in front of Lena. She had slowed down her drinking the longer they sat at the table, unfortunately she couldn’t say the same for Lena. She needed to come up with a plan. There was no way Alex could get her home by herself.

“Psst.” Alex heard from the ground. “Pssssst.” She rolled her eyes and told herself she was never giving Lena another drop of alcohol ever again. “Pssssssssssssst.”

“What, Lena?” Alex yelled.

“Are we going to have sex?” Lena asked, innocently before giggling to herself.

Alex’s eyes widened exponentially as she shook her head trying to stutter out an answer. “N-no. No, definitely not. No, thank you. My sister would murder me and throw me in a ditch, thank you.”

 _Her sister. Oh, god._ Alex thought. _They are both going to kill me._

She pulled out her phone and punched in a number, already regretting her decision. She looked at Lena in apology, but the other girl was so drunk she didn’t seem to notice.

A gruff voice answered over the phone, “Alex? Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Alex winced at the angry tone of her sister. This already wasn’t going well. “Kara, hey…” Alex trailed off.

“KARA!” Lena screamed from the ground and Alex closed her eyes. She was really going to murder this woman. “I forgot her, Alex!” Lena said proudly.

Alex gave her a thumb’s up and a tight smile before turning back to her phone. “Kara, I know this is a lot to ask and I’m so very sorry,” Alex began.

“You’re with her.” Kara stated matter-of-factly. She would recognize that voice anywhere.

“Yes. She is drunk and she can’t stand up by herself. I can’t get her out of here alone. I know she’d kill me for this and I know you probably want to kill me for this, but she won’t remember in the morning and I didn’t know who else to ask.”

“Alex,” Kara hesitated. She knew this could be a bad idea. “I don’t know, this could blow up very easily.”

Alex huffed as she looked at Lena falling asleep. “Kara, I swear to God or to Rao or whoever it is that will get you to put your big girl pants on and get your ass here, please just get here. She needs you.”

Alex waited a beat before she heard a reply. “Okay, where are you?”


	5. Chapter 5

Alex stood over the body sleeping soundly against the wall. She felt awful. She knew Lena had a rough night judging by the amount of alcohol she drank, she should have slowed her down. If the press got word of this, they would have a field day.

She had gotten off the phone with her sister a minute ago. Kara wasn’t happy that Alex had asked for her help with Lena, she seemed even less enthused when Alex mentioned they were outside a gay club. If Alex had to guess, she would think her sister was a little jealous.

She turned around quickly when she heard the familiar _woosh_ of Kara’s cape. Alex smiled sheepishly at her sister as Kara came storming towards her.

“Supergirl!” Alex exclaimed. Okay, she was still drunk.

Alex went to thank her again before Kara held up a hand. “Save it,” the superhero said tiredly. “This is the last time I’m your DD.”

Alex nodded with her head down feeling thoroughly chastised. “Okay, come on, we need to get her up.” She knelt down towards Lena attempting to shake her awake. If Lena woke up midflight and scared Kara, who knew what could happen.

“You know that if she remembers any of this we are both dead, right?” Kara asked with her arms folded.

Alex turned to her sharply, looking her straight in the eye. “I get that you are pissed, but the attitude isn’t helping. This is Lena so shut up and help me.”

Kara nodded, apologetically. She knew in her heart she would do absolutely anything for Lena. She always had. She stepped to the side to get a better view of the Luthor and when she saw her sleeping peacefully she smiled. She looked beautiful, even like this. Her heart ached with the fact that tonight she was going to hold the woman in her arms like she used to before she had to let her go once more.

“I never noticed it before,” Alex interrupted her thoughts from beside her.

“Noticed what?” Kara asked without moving her eyes from Lena.

“You look at her like it hurts,” Alex whispered only loud enough for Kara to hear.

Kara’s head snapped to Alex and a frown pulled at her features. Alex’s eyes were too _knowing_ and she couldn’t bear to look at them any longer. She diverted her attention away and cleared her throat.

Kara opened and closed her mouth a few times trying to form an answer, but what could she say?

“Can we just -,” Kara pointed to Lena trying to convey that she didn’t want to talk about it.

Alex nodded with a sympathetic smile and bent down to try again.

“Lena,” Alex spoke.

Nothing.

“Lena,” Alex said louder. She tried shaking the brunette awake, but the attempt was futile.

Finally, having had enough of this, she slapped Lena across the face which earned a squeak from the superhero behind her and a groan from the CEO in front.

Lena blinked, her eyes scanning the area wildly looking for her attacker. She saw Alex in front of her and let out a sigh. Kara held her breath as she waited for Lena to acknowledge her presence, but apparently it wasn’t noted.

“Ow, what the hell?” Lena slurred out. It was clear she was still plenty intoxicated. She brought her hand up to rub her cheek.

“It’s called tough love, babe,” Alex snipped, haughtily. She missed seeing Kara’s hands clench behind her at the pet name. “Come on, we gotta get you home.”

“I am home,” Lena replied sleepily as she leaned back against the wall of the alley.

Alex looked back at her sister with a smile. She had to admit, as much trouble as drunk Lena was, she was fun to witness. “You live in an alley?”

Lena lifted her head from where it was lulled and looked around, just now noticing her surroundings. She let her eyes roam over the garbage cans and the litter on the ground before leaning back against the wall. “Eh, might as well. National City thinks I’m an evil piece of shit anyways.”

Alex snorted out a laugh before she was reprimanded by her sister. Hearing the voice of the third party for the first time, Lena’s head snapped up before falling back when she became dizzy.

“Why is Supergirl here?” Lena slurred. Her eyes were half closed and she desperately wanted to go to sleep.

Kara cleared her throat before stepping forward. “I’ve come to take you home.”

“No,” Lena responded immediately.

“Lena,” Alex tried. She assumed this would be hard, but she was tired and she just want to go home.

“No,” Lena said again.

“Lena, I cannot get you home by myself. So you need to suck it up for tonight and do what I say, understood?” Alex let out angrily. Frankly, she was growing tired of both of their antics. They needed to fix their shit.

“Is this because I joked about having sex with you?” Lena mock whispered to Alex. The agent’s eyes widened; she quickly turned to her sister who had let out a groan. 

“She isn’t – that’s not what happened.” Alex stuttered out. “Well I mean it is, but it was a joke and I said no.” Kara gave her a look. “I said no,” she repeated with a head nod assuring herself she didn’t screw up. She gulped as she looked at the narrowed eyes of Supergirl.

“Let’s just get her home,” Kara whispered solemnly. She couldn’t help feeling jealous. She used to have this fun relationship with Lena before everything was ruined. Now, their last interactions were cold and raging with emotion. She missed the easiness. She envied her sister’s ability to have and maintain that with Lena.

Her eyes followed Lena as the CEO stubbornly tried to stand up on her own. She was clutching to the wall like a lifeline, before she attempted to let go. Lena made it two steps in front of her when the dizziness took over. She fell forward and straight into Kara’s arms.

Kara immediately stiffened at the feeling of Lena in her arms for the first time in years. Clearly Lena wasn’t feeling the affects as much because she leaned on Kara whilst giggling. “That was fun,” Lena slurred before locking eyes with Kara.

Locking eyes with Kara was a sobering experience for her. Kara tightened her arms around Lena, afraid that she would try and run away, before whispering, “Now can I take you home?”

Lena searched Kara’s eyes for a long moment, both holding their breaths, till she finally acquiesced. She nodded and leaned further into Kara.

“Put your arms around my neck,” Kara said quietly as she bent down to grasp Lena’s legs in a bridal carry.

Lena slid her arms around Kara’s next slowly. Both were hyperaware that this was the first time that they had been this close to each other since that night. When Kara finally lifted Lena, they stood there staring at each other once more.

They heard a throat being cleared from the side and turned to find Alex staring at that them with a soft smile. Both woman had forgotten she was there, so lost in the feeling of each other.

“I’m going to take a cab back home,” Alex announced. “I will call you both tomorrow.”

Kara nodded to Alex in response. Alex didn’t wait for Lena’s acknowledgement because she saw the woman was too busy staring at her sister.

Kara let out a deep breath before looking into the most beautiful pair of green eyes she had ever seen. “Are you ready?”

Lena nodded and tightened her arms around Kara’s neck. “Just -,” Lena began before Kara interrupted.

“Go slow, I remember.”

* * *

 

_It was a few weeks after Lena had found out that Kara was an alien. If Lena was being honest with herself, she wasn’t that surprised. Kara was definitely out of this world._ God _, Lena thought,_ she really needed to rein it in. _Kara was excited that someone outside of her family was in on her secret._

_That was why they found themselves out in the middle of the woods on a Friday night._

_“You aren’t planning on killing me, right?” Lena quipped. She looked at Kara with a smile to make sure the alien knew she was only joking._

_“Of course not, who else is going to buy me potstickers when my family cuts me off for the week,” Kara replied cheekily._

_“I’m glad our friendship means so much to you,” Lena exclaimed, holding a hand to her chest dramatically. “I bet if that girl down at the Chinese restaurant wanted to be your friend, you’d trade me in, in a heartbeat.”_

_“Oh, absolutely,” Kara replied without hesitation._

_Lena gave her a mock offended look before shoving her to the side._

_“Okay, what exactly are we here for anyways.”_

_Kara smiled at her before levitating off the ground. At Lena’s astonished look, Kara’s smile widened. “I want to take you flying.”_

_“F-flying?” Lena stuttered._

_“Yes,” Kara replied. She moved towards Lena, but the brunette took a step back. Kara frowned. “What’s wrong?”_

_“I – I um,” Lena tried to form an explanation as the heat rose to her cheeks. Kara heard her heart pounding fast and lowered herself to the ground. She walked up to Lena slowly before taking both of her hands._

_“Are you afraid of flying, Lena?”_

_Lena diverted her eyes in embarrassment before she nodded._

_“You don’t ever have to be afraid with me, I won’t let anything happen to you.” Kara assured her._

_“Promise?” Lena whispered._

_“Pinky promise,” Kara said with a smile. She held out her pinky to Lena and wiggled it around before Lena took it in her own._

_“Just – just go slow please.”_

_“Anything to make you comfortable,” Kara spoke softly. She took Lena’s hands that were still wrapped in_ _hers and pulled them firmly around her neck. “You can put your feet on my feet, I promise I won’t let go.”_

_Lena followed the instructions and when Kara was satisfied, she looked at Lena expectantly before seeing a nod. Kara slowly rose them in the air, chuckling slightly when Lena immediately burrowed her face in Kara’s neck._

_“I got you,” Kara whispered. She had her arms wrapped snugly around Lena’s waist, careful not to hold the girl too tight._

_They spent what felt like hours that night flying over the forest, Kara whispering words of reassurance in Lena’s ear. They clung to each other, basking in the warmth and comfort the other provided. They had never felt more alive than wrapped up in each other’s’ arms that night._

* * *

 

The pair took off gently into the sky. Lena pressed her head softly into Kara’s neck, determined not to look at the city beneath them in fear of getting sick.

Kara’s heart stuttered in her chest when she felt Lena’s lips gently grazing her skin as they flew. She had to try her hardest not to fly into any buildings. When they were finally back to the major part of the city, Kara slowly came to a stop before whispering to Lena.

“Lena, what is your address?”

She was met with no answer. Her eyes widened as she pulled back just enough to see that the Luthor’s eyes were shut. After making sure her heart beat was steady, she let out a long sigh.

Now what was she supposed to do?

She tried calling Lena’s name a few more times before coming to the only conclusion she could think of.

“Alright,” Kara sighed, “looks like you are coming home with me.”

Kara closed her eyes in frustration, she was going to be in so much trouble.

She took off towards her apartment at a slow pace. She didn’t want to startle the brunette if she woke up once more. If she was honest with herself, she wanted to keep Lena in her arms as long as possible because she was unsure when she would ever get the opportunity again. Flying with Lena was always one of her favorite memories.

Finally, after stalling for long enough, Kara entered her apartment through the window. She brought Lena into her room and set her gently on the bed. Kara figured she would take the couch tonight, she doubted she would get much sleep anyway.

She moved swiftly to take off Lena’s heels, wondering how anyone, drunk or sober, could walk in them. After they were removed she pulled extra blankets out to give Lena just in case she got cold. She was so engrossed in her task that she jumped when she felt a hand on her arm.

“Why’d you do it?” Lena whispered startling Kara who had just finished covering her with a blanket.

“Do what?” Kara asked hesitantly. She was unsure where Lena’s questioning would lead. She didn’t want to have this conversation when Lena was drunk.

“Why did you leave me?” Lena clarified as the tears swam in her eyes. She searched Kara’s eyes sleepily. She was looking for an answer like she always did, but she continued to come up empty.

Kara took a deep breath and sat on the bed beside Lena. She looked around the room, debating how to play this. On one hand, this is the conversation she wanted to have earlier. On the other? She wouldn’t dump this on Lena while she was drunk.

She returned her gaze to the brunette and smiled when she saw her eyes closed once more. Kara chuckled to herself before letting out a sigh.

“Ask me again in the morning,” she whispered softly. She bent down and gently placed a kiss on Lena’s forehead before rising from the bed. She spared Lena one final look, basking in her presence, before exiting the room.

Kara made her way to the couch. Once she laid down she stared straight up at the ceiling, a million thoughts running through her head. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

Lena groaned as the sunlight hit her face. Her head was pounding and she had a serious case of cotton mouth. She closed her eyes trying to calm her headache before she felt a wave of nausea overtake her. Jumping up from the bed, she had a second to realize this was not her apartment before running to, what she assumed was, the bathroom.

Luckily, she was right and she found herself bent over the toilet emptying the contents of her stomach.

Once she was done, Lena sat back on her knees facing the toilet. She was unsure if she would be sick again. Contemplating her surroundings, she figured she was at her friend’s place.

“Alex?” Lena called out trying to track down the woman.

“Wrong sister,” she heard from behind her. Lena’s eyes widened exponentially as she turned around in shock. She must have turned around too fast because she felt her stomach churn once more. She turned back towards the toilet before emptying her stomach again.

From behind her, Kara wrinkled her nose in disgust at the sounds Lena was making. She forgot about this part of drinking. She sank to the floor behind Lena. She was unsure if Lena wanted to be touched, so she sat there and waited.

When Lena was finished, she turned back to Kara and found the blonde holding out a glass of water and some pain relievers. The brunette took the glass and pills gratefully before downing both.

Kara stood up and held her hand out for Lena to take. “I made breakfast.”

Lena studied Kara for a second wondering what her game was before taking her hand and following Kara to the kitchen. Lena took a seat at the island. She let her eyes roam over the apartment and smiled wistfully. Everything here was so completely _Kara_. She had to admit this was all too much though. She was in Kara’s apartment; Kara was making her breakfast. It was all so domestic; it was everything she had ever wanted.

“I let Alex know you were here,” Kara interrupted her thoughts as she plated Lena’s breakfast. “Apparently the agents assigned to you last night were off duty since Alex was there, but she won’t be making that mistake again. They are outside my place right now,” Kara finished as she handed Lena her breakfast.

“What am I doing here?” Lena asked completely disregarding everything Kara just said.  

“Alex called me around three this morning, said that you were so drunk that she couldn’t get you home by herself.”

Lena looked down in embarrassment. Kara was the last person she wanted to see in this state and she hated that she put Alex in this position. Knowing Alex, she must have felt desperate enough to call Kara.

“Why am I here, though?” Lena asked, still confused.

“I, uh, I was flying you home and you fell asleep in my arms before I could get your address. I tried to wake you up, but had no such luck.”

They both looked at each other with a slight blush covering their cheeks.

“T-thank you for helping me,” Lena said bashfully before rising to her feet. “I will get out of your hair as soon as I find my shoes.” Lena took off towards Kara’s room leaving her breakfast untouched.

Kara immediately followed Lena into the bedroom. “You don’t have to go,” she said hopefully. “We can talk.”

Lena halted in her quest to find her shoes and turned slowly towards Kara. “Talk about what exactly?” Lena snipped. “I can’t keep doing this push and pull game with you,” Lena said tiredly. “I have been trying to get you to talk to me for years. I – I gave up, Kara,” Lena finished in a whisper. “I can’t keep playing these games.”

“It’s not a game,” Kara pleaded with her as she stepped closer.

“I needed closure, Kara. For years I needed closure and you never gave it to me. You left me lying in that hospital bed. I needed you, I thought – I thought you were going to come and rescue me. I thought you were going to take me away from all of this. You promised, Kara. You promised to never leave me. I thought – Kara, I - I was in love with you,” Lena admitted, her voice cracking on the confession. She brought her hand up to gently stroke the star necklace that still rested on her chest. She would give anything to go back to that time.

Kara’s breath hitched at the confession. She knew that she was in love with Lena all those years ago, hell she was still in love with her. However, she never knew that Lena felt the same way. She felt a heavy weight in her chest and moved to sit down on the bed. She put her head in her hands as tears slowly ran down her face. She knew Lena was watching her from her place on the side of the room.

Kara hated herself for causing Lena so much pain, but it needed to be done. But, now? Now, she was ready to fight; she needed to fight. It was time. She wouldn’t let that evil woman get away with this any longer. Kara was done being a coward. She stood up and moved towards Lena. When she was close enough, she gently took the other woman’s hands. They stared at each other as tears poured down both of their faces.

“I’m ready to tell you now. Please, just let me explain everything and then you can leave if you want,” Kara pleaded. “You won’t ever have to see me again if you don’t want to, but I think we can fight her together. I think we are ready to fight her now,” Kara finished in a whisper.

She was staring pleadingly at Lena, squeezing the brunette’s hands in hers, hoping for a chance to explain. She was hoping for a chance to finally make this right.

“Fight who?” Lena demanded.

Kara looked at her sympathetically before answering.

“Your mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is THE chapter. Get ready!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lillian Luthor is an evil bitch!
> 
> This chapter shows a flashback from "the big event" that caused this mess. There are many different scenes I would like to flashback to, to depict the full event and they will be shown in later chapters. I picked this one specifically so that you could see the 'evil bitch' that is Lillian Luthor. 
> 
> Just to clarify when the flashback in this chapter begins, Kara is telling Lena that part of the story.

_“Your mom.”_

“My mom?” Lena asked, disbelieving. “Kara, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Please just let me explain,” Kara begged. At Lena’s nod, Kara gently took her hand and led her to the couch in the living room. After taking their seats, Kara’s hand remained linked with Lena’s. She stared at them in awe, they still fit perfectly together.

Lena was watching Kara and felt the sudden urge to rip her hand away. This was too much. She was feeling too much. Lena had closed herself off to feelings a long time ago, she was terrified that they were coming back. She gently removed her hand from Kara’s, but it didn’t soften the blow. Kara tried to hide the frown forming on her face, but Lena saw it and she immediately felt a hint of guilt.

Kara cleared her throat and opened her mouth to begin.

“Your mom found out I was an alien,” she said simply. Lena’s eyes widened as she thought of all the implications of that sentence. Her mother was almost as bad as Lex. If Kara left, the only reason Lena could think of would be-

“I didn’t tell her,” Lena tried to assure her, but Kara put up a hand to stop her.

“I know, Lena. I always trusted you. It happened when Lex began his campaign against Superman. She must have found out through his research or he told her, either way she knew we were cousins.” Kara took a deep breath preparing herself for the major parts of the story. “She was nice about it at first,” at Lena’s strange look she amended, “nice _enough_.”

Lena and Kara shared a small smile and for a second it felt like old times. “What happened?” She quietly asked. Admittedly, she was fearful of the answer.

“She tried to pay me off. She gave me a check for ten grand and told me I could take the money if I promised to leave you alone,” Kara revealed.

Lena’s eyes flashed with hurt as she stood up from the couch. “You haven’t spoken to me for six years because she _paid you off_? Was that really all I was worth to you?”

Kara immediately shook her head and stood up to meet Lena across the room. “Of course not, I said she _tried_. I told her that you were my best friend. You meant more to me than any amount of money, but she didn’t want to hear it. She told me that I would regret making that decision, but I didn’t know, Lena. I didn’t know the risks that day and I’m so sorry.”

Kara started to cry and Lena fought the urge to comfort her. The brunette was confused, she wanted answers _now_. “Kara, please.” She found herself begging. “I don’t understand.”

Kara took her seat back on the couch as she fiddled with her hands. “It was raining the night of the accident. You and I were on our way home from one of those summer carnivals, remember?” She looked to Lena for confirmation and when she received it she continued. “We were driving in your car, there was no one out on the road that night and then he hit us. The guy came out of nowhere and I couldn’t do anything to protect you.” She looked at Lena as if pleading for forgiveness. “I-I’m so sorry, Lena.”

Lena looked to Kara as she struggled to make sense of this. “What does this have to do with my mother?” She wondered aloud. “That was the last time I saw you,” Lena admitted. “You disappeared after that.”

“It wasn’t the last time I saw you,” Kara replied quietly. “I took you to the hospital, you were unconscious. There was so much blood and your leg was bent at an awkward angle. The doctor said that if I had been a few minutes late you wouldn’t have made it. I didn’t leave your side that night, that was how she found me.”

Kara took a deep breath, trying to convince herself this was the right thing to do. She tried to center herself before she locked eyes with Lena and continued her story.

* * *

 

_“I thought you’d be here,” Kara heard from the doorway. “Looks like I was right.”_

_The blonde stood up and spun on the intruder, anger marring her features. “You did this, didn’t you?”_

_Lillian mockingly held her chest and tried to look offended, but her smirk was shining through. “Of course not, dear. I would never hit my daughter with a car.” She took a step closer to Lena before Kara moved in front of her._

_“You’re lying,” Kara spat. “Do you really think I don’t know that you were behind this?” Kara said, fighting back her tears. “She is your_ daughter _.” She cried. “How could you do this?”_

_Lillian had the audacity to laugh._

_“That bastard child is no daughter of mine,” Lillian bit out. She grabbed Kara’s chin in her hand roughly, although she knew she couldn’t hurt her. “I told you to stay away, I even asked nicely. Why is it so hard for you aliens to listen?”_

_“I’m her friend,” Kara answered quietly._

_“What you are is an abomination,” Lillian spat._

_“I would never hurt her.”_

_“Does it look like I care?” Lillian moved closer to Kara staring threateningly at her, before she turned her attention to Lena. “I told you this would get worse.”_

_“Please just leave her alone,” Kara begged. “She doesn’t deserve this.”_

_“Oh, I plan to leave her alone,” Lillian smiled as she retuned her gaze to Kara. “She can live in peace,_ if _you do as I say.”_

_Kara studied Lillian for a long moment, “What do you want?”_

_“Well, Kara Danvers, I want what I have always wanted. I want you to leave her alone. I want you to completely remove yourself from her life.” Lillian smiled haughtily at her._

_Kara felt the air leave her lungs at what she was being told to do, but she didn’t see how she had another choice. “If I do this, you will keep your word? No harm comes to her?”_

_“Consider this my first deal with an alien,” Lillian replied smugly._

_Kara’s heart ached as she looked back towards Lena. She didn’t want to leave her. They had their whole lives to spend by each other’s side, whether that was as friends or something more. She wasn’t ready, she didn’t think she ever would be._

_Lillian looked at Kara with a shit eating grin, “So do we have a deal?”_

_Kara thought about it. She thought about fighting, she thought about going to the police or to her cousin. She thought about all the ways she could stop this from happening, but she stared at the brunette broken and battered in that bed and knew she would agree to anything if it meant that no harm would come to her. Kara wasn’t strong enough to fight, she wasn’t strong enough to protect her. Kara wasn’t willing to gamble with this._

_“Deal,” Kara choked out._

_“Excellent,” Lillian clapped. “You may go.” She dismissed Kara with a wave of her hand._

_Kara’s eyes widened at the suddenness. “Wait,” she begged. “Can I please say goodbye?”_

_Lillian rolled her eyes before heading towards the door, “I’ll be outside. Make it quick.”_

_Kara nodded sadly. She hated Lillian for finding so much enjoyment in this. She hated Lillian for ripping Lena from her. She hated Lillian for hurting the brunette in the first place._

_She stepped closer to the brunette who was still unconscious. Kara’s eyes roamed over the bruises, the broken bones, the swollen parts of Lena’s face. She took comfort of the fact that this wouldn’t happen again._

_She sat in the chair she occupied earlier before gently taking Lena’s hand in her own. “Lee,” she whispered. “I have to leave now. I wish more than anything I could stay and keep you safe, but for now I need to let you go. I’m so sorry, Lena. I just want to protect you. This is the only way.” She cursed herself as tears fell down her face. She stroked Lena’s hand with the pad of her thumb, “If this is the last time we talk there is something I need you to know.” She studied Lena, she didn’t know if she hoped her friend would wake up or stayed sleeping. “I l-love you, Lena, I have for a long time. Loving you is the easiest thing I have ever done, that’s why I know I’m making the right choice. You are my home, my strength. I don’t know what I am going to do without you. I wish we could spend the rest of our lives together. I would take you away from all of this.” She brought Lena’s hand up to her lips and placed a firm kiss there._

_“When I know I am able to keep you safe, I will come back to you, I promise.” She stood up from her seat, giving Lena one last look. She tried to memorize everything about her, everything about them, before she had to walk out that door. Knowing her time was up, Kara wiped the remainder of her tears and made her exit._

_Lillian smiled at her smugly as she stepped out of the room and she fought the urge to slam her body into the pavement outside. She would come back for Lena, there was no way she was letting this woman win forever._

_Lillian moved towards the hospital room before throwing one last look to Kara. “If I find out anyone knows about this, deal’s off.”_

_Kara nodded in understanding. She clenched her jaw shut tightly and made her way out of the hospital._

* * *

 

Lena stared back at Kara with wide eyes. Her pale face growing even paler. She didn’t know what she expected, but this wasn’t it. Her brain tried to make sense of what she just learned. She was overwhelmed, shocked and heartbroken. It looked like her mother was the cause of her greatest heartbreak.

Lena was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t realize Kara was still talking.

“I secretly kept an eye on you all throughout your recovery. When you started college, I thought maybe it would be best if I went my own way. I was tempted too many times to talk to you,” Kara admitted. She remembered the days she got home after midnight because she spent hours making sure Lena was safe and sound. She remembered the nightmares she had of Lena getting hurt, the sleepless nights where she escaped from her room to make sure she was okay.

Still lost in her thoughts, the longer Lena thought about this the angrier she felt. They could have fought Lillian together, they could have stayed together. Why wouldn’t Kara fight?

“Why now? Why wouldn’t you tell me as soon as this happened? We could have done something,” Lena cried. “I didn’t have to lose you for six years, Kara!”

Kara shook her head as she stood up pacing. “Don’t you think I have thought about this every day for the last six years? She had connections, Lena. She is a powerful woman who basically ordered a hit out on her eighteen-year-old daughter. Your life is not something I am willing to gamble with, I don’t take your safety lightly.” She stood tall and held her hands to her hips. In that moment, Lena saw the Super that Kara tried to keep hidden with her cardigan and glasses.

“You should have given me a choice,” Lena cried angrily. “This is _my_ life.”

“I would prefer you actually had a life to live, thanks,” Kara bit out. “Who knows what she would have done if I hadn’t taken the deal.”

“Kara,” Lena sighed. She held her head in her hands. She wanted to put everything she had learned in a box and throw it all away. It was so much simpler when she was painfully unaware. Now, she knew that Kara didn’t want to leave her in the first place. Now she knew that her mother was behind this and her heart was burning for revenge. “She took you away from me,” Lena whispered.

“This is my fault,” Kara whispered back as a tear escaped. “You were hurt because of me. I couldn’t protect you, Lena. Maybe it was better that I wasn’t there at all.”

Lena felt all her anger slip away as she looked at the pain on Kara’s face. “Kara.” Lena tried to comfort her, holding out a hand, but the blonde immediately shook her head and pulled away.

“I’m Supergirl,” Kara laughed bitterly. “I spend my days saving people around the city and I can’t even feel good about it because the one person I wanted to save more than anything, I couldn’t. She could have killed you, Lena. As a person, as a superhero, I have never felt more useless.”

Lena stared at Kara unaware of the tears pouring down her own face. This was the first time she truly thought of the torment Kara must have been facing for the past six years. Her heart clenched when she realized that Kara dealt with this alone. They had both suffered a great deal because of her mother and she would never forgive her for it.

“I’m so sorry, Lena,” Kara apologized again. “But I wouldn’t take it back. Your safety means everything to me.”

Lena stood up from her spot on the couch and moved to stand in front of Kara. When she reached her, she paused for a long moment as she looked into Kara’s eyes. She yanked at the blonde’s t-shirt and pulled the Super into her arms. For having super strength, the blonde gave willingly. Kara’s breath hitched as Lena’s arms wrapped around her. She stiffened immediately unused to being hugged by the Luthor and Lena pulled away afraid that she messed up. Before Lena could pull farther away, she felt Kara sink into her arms and bury her face into her neck.  They reveled in the feeling of each other for the first time in six years. They couldn’t fight the tears if they tried.  

“We can fight her this time, Lena.” Kara whispered into Lena’s neck. “We can fight her together.”

Lena only nodded before she pulled away. “I know we still have a lot to work through and talk about, but I don’t blame you, Kara.”

Kara averted her eyes while she bit roughly at her lip. “It’s okay, I blame myself enough for the both of us.”

Lena shook her head knowing this would be an uphill battle. Both girls had a hard exterior built over the years without each other. The pair had their problems, but maybe it was finally time to fix them together.

“So, what do we do now?”

“We tell Alex,” Kara answered as she moved to get her phone.

* * *

 

“I am going to wring that evil bitch’s neck!” Alex shouted after Kara finished her story. Lena closed her eyes as the hangover she had was still hitting hard.

Alex paced back and forth across the room. She was livid. Lillian hurt the people that she loved, she would pay. She looked at Lena and spoke, “I know she is your mother, but can we agree that she is an evil bitch?”

“Oh, definitely.” Lena agreed. “Do we have any alcohol here?” She asked as she moved into the kitchen. “I don’t know about anyone else, but I could really use a drink.”

Alex followed her into the kitchen smiling in approval as Kara rolled her eyes. “It is still morning!”

Alex found the whiskey she kept in the freezer as she instructed Lena on where to get the glasses.

“Five o’clock somewhere,” Lena remarked as she smiled.

“I don’t even know what is happening right now,” Kara muttered to herself. Everything was changing so fast. A few days ago, she hadn’t spoken to Lena in six years. Now? Now, Lena was in her apartment sharing drinks with her sister and she gave Kara a hug. _A hug._ Kara had that moment in her head playing on repeat.

“To bringing down evil bitches,” Alex smiled as she raised her glass. Lena clinked them together before taking a long drink. She winced at the burn in her throat.

Lena went back to her place on the couch. She felt like she was living in a dream. This did not seem real. She needed a moment to recover from all that she had learned. She needed a moment to digest and come to terms with her new reality. She needed a nap.

She looked towards Kara only to find the blonde staring at her. She couldn’t even begin to understand what the hell was happening with them. Everything was so confusing, she didn’t know where they stood now after everything was revealed.

She watched as Kara tilted her head towards the window.

“There’s a fire,” Kara said as she ran to her room. When she reentered, she offered a quick goodbye and a promise to return before leaping out of the window.

Alex plopped on the couch next to Lena, drink still in hand. She kicked her shoes off and put her feet in the Luthor’s lap. When Lena scrunched up her nose in disgust, Alex gave her toes a wiggle.

“You’re weird,” Lena remarked.

“Eh, you get used to it.” Alex studied Lena for a long moment trying to fully grasp everything she had just learned. “You really loved her, didn’t you?”

Lena pondered the question for a minute. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone. She was my first love, even if we were never together.”

Alex watched as Lena fiddled with her hands and kept stealing glances towards the window. “You still love her.” She stated matter-of-factly.

Alex watched as Lena diverted her attention away from her.

“You should tell her,” Alex suggested.

Lena snorted as she crossed her arms. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”

“Lena,” Alex tried. These women were so damn stubborn. She didn’t understand why two people who were clearly in love with each other fought it so hard.

“No, Alex. Maybe it’s too late for us. There is so much that has happened. We are two completely different people.”

“What are you afraid of?”

Lena let out a huff and rolled her eyes. She was sick of these questions. “I’m not afraid of anything,” she replied stubbornly.

“Bullshit.”

“Alex,” Lena sighed.

“Can you honestly tell me that you and Kara were ever meant to be just friends?”

Lena remained silent. She knew Alex was right, with Kara there was always something more. Right from the beginning she could see it. She was going to tell her how she felt, then the accident happened, and it destroyed her.

“Fine, Luthor. Stay silent.” Alex said pursing her lips with a head nod. “Just let me know who wins when you fight over who gets me as their maid of honor.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think!


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